This week is becoming a week of learning to keep myself quiet about certain things and protecting myself from negative energies and bullies.
I have been dealing with one at work who is determined to try to make me look like a fool and is bullying me personally at work. She is someone to whom I will never voice my own personal opinion about at work, on company property or with anyone I work with (except the only one I trust to keep it to himself) because it could get me in trouble OR it will make me exactly like she is in a lot of ways.
Here it is: She is an ignorant, lazy, suck up of a human being who finds fault with others because she doesn't want to see that she is basically trash herself. She wants the boss to see the bad in others so she doesn't see the bad in herself. She has no filter on her mouth, and someday very soon she may lose her job because of the abusive things she says to me and a few others. She is jealous of a lot of people there...on is a beautiful and quiet young Mexican woman who does her job and more because she wants to work.
I don't understand why this girl is the way she is, she can change herself if she wants to. I know she has children and she is overweight, but still you can change many things about yourself without doing damage to others....yes, she can loose weight, but she can fix her attitude so that she can be happy...she can work hard to try to learn new things (she was in college but she quit for a while) to improve your mind and you can always smile more and find things to enjoy about life-her children, her new boyfriend, she has a job, she is healthy...instead, she chooses to drink, leave her kids to roam the streets while she naps and find ways to bring others down. I know she is in her early thirties, and she has time to learn, but I fear this one will not learn anything in her life because she has already been taught to look at the positive in the world and put it down!
The other situation isn't a bullying one, but keeping quiet. The situation is between two friends, and I know the real truth, but I am not going to say anything because I am afraid that if I do, it will all come back on me and I will lose them both. If I let the one discover the truth about the other, and be there for them both, it may be easier. I still believe these two can be good for each other, and that once this comes out (which I am surprised that it didn't come out when they got together), and they work through it everything will be alright. This isn't about infidelity, it is about lying about ones' self to the other and the insecurities of one of them in particular. The first isn't sure about it all, but the things being told to him by another friend are too hard for him to ignore, but the other one has "explanations" for everything...though there is damning evidence online against him that cannot be ignored. I know, I have found all of the information myself...
I have kept quiet about this to the one who perpetuates the lies and his family because I don't want them to know that I know the truth until they tell me, and I am not going to go around accusing them of anything, I have been keeping silent and waiting to see if they will come out and tell me the truth, then I am going to tell them I already knew and figured it all out, and I don't care because he is a good young man with a sweet heart and it doesn't matter. If they open up and tell me the truth, I will encourage him to tell his boyfriend the truth so they can work through this together, rather than let the guy find out on his own and get hurt...it would be better if the truth came from the source and not from anyone else... it will hurt, yes, but at least it won't be as bad as coming from elsewhere. This is also causing a rift between the first and his friend of many years and that has to stop! They cannot keep this up because they are hurting a special man who served this country and doesn't deserve that kind of pain after all he has been through.
Three days into this week and already a lot of craziness in real life and online that is going to test the limits of my abilities to retain lessons learned from everything else. The second situation is one that could cause a lot of damage and I could get caught up in it if I do or say anything and I don't want that to happen since I still like them all in that situation. I learned a long time ago that these situations aren't going to come out well, and I must keep my distance from them in order to not get the backlash.
In the first situation, I have two witnesses to the bullying and I told another since it was verbal bullying. This time, I am not letting it happen again. I will have witnesses to this so that I can fight it better and faster than the last time. If it gets out of hand, I will do what is necessary to make sure that I am not the looser in this situation and that I have voiced what needs to be said without causing any harm to my karma. I will show her and many others that I am not a doormat, but I am a good person who works hard and enjoys my job...I am also going to counter her bad attitude with MY good mood, no matter what happens here.