25 May 2012

Working On Me-The Sequel

I have been thinking about this long and hard since my last few posts about being on step ahead of crazies and the social media that is Facebook and the way it takes society out of social networking and so forth.

Now, I am frustrated yes but seriously I no longer care about getting put in that state of being.

Nor do I want to continue on with my job as it is.  I am tired of the drama from social networks and the unnecessary stress of the real world.

But what is a girl to do?  Does she hide her head in shame and wallow in depression or self pity?  No way!! Not me.  I don't like that state of madness anymore than the drama and stress.

My plan is simple yet going to be hard at times.

I am turning my personal habitat into a sanctuary where all I need and want is right in my own home. It will become a place of total serenity even when I am online doing what I need to do to satisfy the masses.

How do I do that, pray tell...well I will tell you in the most basic terms.

You see, I figured out that they reason why I am depressed as well is because of the tragic messy state of my home...yes, I live in a basic pigsty and I can offer excuses for that by saying that I am so tired from working six days I don't want to clean, but that isn't right since I know this is depression that guides my hands into this state of nasty.

So first off, I am going to get this place cleaned up and get it looking like a place I want to spend my time in, and KEEP it cleaned.  Once I start doing that it should be a good  start for me.

The second thing I need to do is start routines that help me get my life organized and allows for me to write on a daily basis...J.R. Ward writes everyday without vacation or sick days, I don't want to be like that, but I have figured out other things I can do in that regard.

Diana Gabaldon worked AND wrote, surely I can find my personal balance too.  I know I can do both.

I will also make sure I surround myself with the things that are familiar and comfortable for me.  Brands and things I know and trust to make me feel comfortable with my life.  I just need to know that in my home I am happy and content.

My routines will involve these things that I KNOW and trust on a regular basis. It will include meals and what shall be called SPA time.  That is, the time of night where I spend in my ablutions and actually turn the bathroom into a spa oasis that rejuvenates and relaxes me completely at night, but at the same time, when I get up in the morning, it is the preparation for my day ahead.

I will also limit my dining out to once or twice a month until I am sure I can afford it again.  I have food in my home, if I keep those basics for lunches-whether or not I get to take a lunch break or eat at the bus stop-I can save even more money.

I will also begin my days with a breakfast, orange juice and coffee along with vitamins.  I will eat lunch and make myself dinner every night, almost always at the same time so that I KNOW I have to do it.

Next on the list is living simply elegantly.  I would like to have a glass of wine with my dinners and read the Sunday newspaper while eating a lovely breakfast.  I will finish reading the classics and learn all that I can in this world of everything I can...

Eventually I will be able to afford to get Cable television, and I may have some shows that I will put into the routine as well.  I would love to be able to watch the third season of Downton Abby and enjoy most of the programs on PBS as they happen.  I am not an American Idol or reality television fan but maybe I can find a show that I cannot live without, like a lot of people I know do.

I will also re-engage in activities I used to participate in online.  My Jane Austen forum has been a place I have missed so much and would like to reconnect with.

I would like to reconnect with my real self in my email life.  Try to catch up and keep myself updated on my emails.  I am dreadfully behind in that arena as well. I forget who and what I do on them!!  

As for magick...yes, I will strive to work in that area as well, making myself a stronger witch and a smarter one at that!  When I can afford it, I will study to become a priestess in the craft.

Yes, that brings me to the other question...I am a witch, this is what keeps whispering itself in my head and it is what I am...I cannot deny this nor do I want to.  I will continue my studies and make sure I broaden my horizons in this manner as well.

All in all, I do believe I am working towards a better me....I am going to get myself a new organizer and use it daily to mark my progress and to keep myself...well. organized lol

I am also discovering a love for erotic romances and I am going to endeavor to read more of them and maybe they shall inspire the writer in me as well...though I would like to blog about the books I read, I shall start slowly and move forward...I have a blog that I will use for this project.

I want to work in my writing forum.  I have become very behind in it and want to add to its members list and very soon.  I can accomplish this in a few ways, and I will do so soon.  Role players are often brilliant writers and just need the encouragement and push to make the dream a reality.

I will get to all my favorite book review blogs and keep myself updated on them also.  I want to keep up with what is happening everywhere with all of my authors and I don't want to miss a thing.

I will also update my website, if I can.  Dreams Of The Blue Rose.  I haven't been there in a long time, but I think I need to do a lot of work on it and on me.

Yes, this is a lot that I want to accomplish, but I need to do them in order for me to feel like I am accomplishing everything I want to do...and I am not letting down friends.

I do admit that some of this stems from a bit of envy for a good friend who does write and is publishing some of her works.  I want to be like that, to be able to write and be published and not be left behind because I am wasting my day and my life with excuses.  Nikki Noffsinger inspires me to WANT to be like that, even if she doesn't see it herself.  

I want to write what I love and share it with the world!!

I know this is a lot to ask of myself and the world thinks I may be crazy to try this all at one time, but I can't help WANTING a better me.  Of wanting my dreams to come true!!

I want to do this, to be a better me and to show those people who are around me that I am capable of everything that I set my heart and mind to!!

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