I am so tired lately, I cannot begin to say why except that people are crazy!!
I know I have mentioned it before but the people I work with can be very bipolar in nature and it makes me wonder why. It is just a job, we do it, get through it and go home only to begin again tomorrow.
The people I hang with online just irritate me even more!! Some of them act like they care but they don't. They continue to do the things they do and hurt others without conscious thought to anyone else.
The problem with being on social sites like Facebook and Myspace is that it takes the humanity out of it all. You become a profile to others and not a real person on the other side of the internet connection line. You are an object to them and it is really sad to me!! People don't think about that and unconsciously hurt someone they will NEVER meet in this world face to face. Someone that in REALITY they would NEVER think of hurting at all!!
I am about to chuck the whole thing and concentrate on my writing and on me since others seem to have issues online. Nobody wants to work towards helping others or doing the right thing. It is getting to be a waste of my time and effort anymore.
I am longing for simpler days online when I could get on my yahoo messenger and chat with NORMAL people and go to my blogs and just write or to Myspace and post on people's walls who don't have any agenda but having friends online to laugh and joke with.
I miss the days of Awaiting Diana and regular emails with people to chat about books or hang loose with them. I also miss Covenspace and the way things were there...easy, magickal and inspirational.
I want the past back, yes, but at the same time I want more in this life! I am so tired of all the petty things going on, it kills me.
Don't get me wrong, I love Pagan Place but I need to get there more often and commune with my fellow witches and I need to get back to writing and enjoying the good times that always gave me.
I also miss my sanctuaries...my park and the library in my hometown where I didn't have to hide who I was and be what and who I am...never to be confused by crazy issues.
I miss being able to drive anywhere I wanted to go and live a good and easy life of just being alive.
I can't say I miss my old jobs since they were always stressful and a pain in my ass but I can honestly say I miss the easy routines I had once kept, including the old apartment I had. I do miss living there. It was a place of self discovery to me and I found out who and what I am...now I am afraid I don't comprehend anything about myself.
I want ME back!! I want the person I am supposed to be.
This week I am going to work on figuring out how to go about that!!