29 November 2011

Christmastime For Me

Every year at this time, we all gather around our loved ones, we spend time finding those special gifts, and we bundle up against the cold as we go about our business. It is often a busy time of year when good will and bad show themselves in various ways and means...we give and we receive with equal joy.


It is a time when we all take stock of ourselves and we pay closer attention to those around us.  Sometimes we see those who are lacking, and we see those who are overloaded with a sense of goodness that it overflows onto us.  I wish that abundance would overflow from one person I know at work and onto another couple of people there, but that is not going to  happen anytime soon, and that is ok, because it will happen.


Christmas is always a bittersweet time for me.  I always love being with family, but when I watch my grandmother slowly fading from this world of her own volition, I get sad thinking that if she would at least try maybe she could be better.  I see my brother who has MS struggling with the financial issues that come with Medicare and Medicaid and wish that the burden could be lifted for him.  My mother, bless her heart is also having medical issues that seem to intensify with the passing of time, but she is always smiling and always happy-I just hate that she has to do breathing treatments after every activity she does that requires being up for more than 20 minutes. I just want to change things for them all....and for myself, but we are all together, alive and whole!  That is what matters in the long run and it makes me smile at the fact that we are all here.


This year will be a lot more interesting for me as I go along.  I have this new job that has proven to be very good for me financially and in many other ways.  I have more hours, better pay and insurance, so that I don't have to worry.  


I am still digging myself out of the financial hole I was in, but I am almost finished.  Come January 1, 2012 I should be in a place where I am able to do more than I will, but for now I can afford a little something for family members for Christmas, and that makes me thankful and grateful for the job that I have.  I continue to have faith in myself and my abilities to do what I must to get where I need to go and do what I need to do.


I am working on myself as well. Everyone knows that there are things about myself that I need to work on to get me where I need to be.  The list isn't too long, but it is a good one, and I cannot wait to start.


I will begin with Yule Eve...for myself...for the person I truly am inside.  


I want to be a well rounded human being, but in order to do that, I must strive to make myself be that more often and with gusto.  I must work on the new beginnings I wish to make and do it soon or I may  never do it.


I am making plans for the New Year for this blog, I want it  to be better, stronger and smarter...I want to focus on my belief in myself and in the journey I continue to take.  I want to be more active on my blog and focus less on things that make me shudder just being around them, but am still in love with...the good and the bad...I love what I do, but at the same time, I slowly loose interest because it can be stressful at times.


I digress...


This winter, I am devoting myself to spending more time reading.  What better time than when we all try to shut out the cold and try to spend more time indoors because it is prettier to look at than be in it sometimes.


I am going to devote a little more time to Jane Austen and my blog there, but I would like to read a lot of other titles that are sitting on my To Be Read shelf.  


I am always content to be at home alone with a good book and Emma on my lap as I read, with a cup of Earl Grey or a cup of coffee.  These are my comfort foods sometimes.


This year as the season progresses, I am going to be working on a new blog which will focus on my spiritual path, but this one will remain, along with the Jane blog and my writing blog.


Happy reading!



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