17 September 2011

Genral Ramblings

Ever since I got my new phone, I have been obsessed with the android in the phone.  There is so much MORE to do with it.

I downloaded my Kindle and Nook apps to it, and spend most of my time downloading books onto them both so I can take them anywhere.

Yes, I know that the print is small and all, but I just love the fact that I can take everything with me.  The easy access to my library of books has me enjoying reading once again.

I still want one of each of them-Nook and Kindle, but right now I settle for what I can get.  And this is the next best thing.  

With the job going well, I see things clearly settled with me by the end of October and everything under control again so that I can save the money for these "wants" that I do have after taking care of the "needs", which are endless right now.

The new job is going rather well.  I have all of my insurances with one exception, and that is life insurance, but that comes soon.

I have so many plans for the next few months with myself, it isn't even funny.  I am ready to get back to being the person I once was-add new bits and pieces to me.

There are stories swimming in my head and I am looking forward to finally writing them down, and getting what I need to do done for the sake of ME.  No more putting myself on hold because I have to take care of others and their feelings and hurts first (there is one true exception in this one and I do plan to be there when she is ready for me....what she is going through, I have walked this particular path-almost dead on).

I want to get back into doing book reviews again...and with my new phone and with my new resolve, I plan to do so.  I am finding new reads all the time.

My Tea In Austenland blog will continue soon, and I will knuckle down and do the blog posts I am behind on with Persuasion and everything else.  

It's time to get organized and on track once again. To stop letting people play silly games with my head and DO what I have always wanted to do, and to stop letting things get to me personally.

I am inspired to write more poetry too, but nothing has come into my mind yet.  It all seems jumbled up with feelings that I want to go away before they affect my life and my world.

This new job is fantastic.  I get close to 40 hours a week and quite a bit of common courtesy and respect from the people who hired me....not as much from some of the people I work with, but they are good people at heart and don't mean anything by it at all. One in particular is a good hearted person, but he does something that is inappropriate for the workplace and I don't think he realized that what he was doing was wrong since he is always nice to me and those around him.

My kitten, Emma is growing daily and getting happier by the week.  I am glad I  have her even when she drives me nuts just being a kitten.  She can't help what she does, but as she gets older and I get her declawed and spayed, she will calm down more and more. 

I think Emma had a bad start with the psycho neighbor who had her before me. Our beginning was a little weird, and she is still skittish sometimes to the point where I worry about her.  She seems to fear sudden moves unless she is right on me.  If I get up, she seems to think that I am coming at her and she runs and hides for a few minutes. I only hope that time will help her calm down over this since she trusts me completely.

I love having Emma around.  It is nice to have her greet me at the door and try to climb up to my face with "Welcome home" meows and attempt at kissing my face.  It is also nice in the first half hour when she climbs in my lap while I am trying to get my shoes off and relax.

I think it is the sweetest thing to be laying on the couch and she comes up and curls herself into my  stomach while we watch a movie together or when I lay down in bed, with a book, she finds her way into my lap.

It is also adorable when I am sitting there texting with friends on my phone and she starts patting at the phone like she wants a turn at typing.

She loves to play with me, and she loves to "attack" my leg or arm out of the blue. Those moments are the funniest things.

I hate when she chews my things up or starts cutting her teeth on me, but her "Wake Up, Mommy" licks crack me up and I know that is her way of taking care of ME while I take care of HER.  She is one of a kind, and I am blessed to have such a little daughter such as her to brighten my day.  I only need to feed her, and keep her box clean and she is a happy girl, but at times, I can't help but slip in a few little treats her way just to hear her purr louder.  That makes my day.

This week, I took my first two steps in getting myself back on track.  I got my hair cut, and they took off at least three or four inches of hair.  The second was beginning my Clinique

The next steps are to get my eyes checked and new contacts or glasses and to get my teeth fixed a bit at a time...then it is on to clothes and a manicure and makeup...I WANT so badly to look like myself again and to feel like myself!

I look in the mirror, and while I do love the person underneath, it is the person on the outside that bothers me the most...I look like I stopped caring about myself and it is no wonder...I need to get myself back to normal and soon!!  Get back to looking like the person I am supposed to look like. I cannot wait!!

Lately I have been working hard to get my home in order.  I have a bit of a ways to go yet, since I have stuff in here that really needs to go in the trash, but I am slowly getting it there.

I plan to buy new dishes soon and to get all new things for a lot of the rooms in my home because I am tired of the place looking like I don't care in there either when the truth is that I am a lazy housekeeper and get too tired after I work to do things.  Of course, my old job was part of the reason-I was walking an hour and ten minutes for work and I was depressed most of the time because I couldn't afford to work there and I was slowly going insane with the way they treated me, but now things are different, and I am feeling much better about myself and my life and everything is going well all over the place.

As I sit here, Classical music playing on the radio, a bag of chips and a cup of coffee at my elbow and Emma close by sleeping, I am thinking how great things are going for me, and that I am glad that Karma is my friend...and she isn't letting me down despite the things that have happened with certain people this past week.

No matter what happens or what THEY think, I know ME and I know how much better my life is getting with each passing month and I am blessed in all that I do and all that I am, and I feel sad for those who have turned on me and think I am whatever because of their own ignorance.  It no longer matters, but I do WONDER, (not WORRY) about how Karma is treating them at this particular moment and hope She is being kind and merciful.

Right now, I am too busy downloading books to my Nook and Kindle and finding some awesome reads for the bus rides I take daily and for my lunch breaks at work and doing my thing.  Having fun and living my life.  Discovering new ways to go about things.  

I am happy to be me right now, and I know things will get even better!

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