24 March 2008

Emotional Day

The new job is going to be a great one....medical, dental, vacation....and now an opportunity (within less than 15 hours of working for them-pressing and training last week, walking in this morning) to make more money helping do the manager's job-dc laundry and my job of assembling (which starts on Thursday when the new presser starts)....I would say that this will be a great job, even if I don't fit in with the people I work for and I can't exactly get a feel for the owner just yet....I think things will be fine.

I have also been following a fellow poet since he's come out of incarceration....things have been very hard for him-1 year in prison and 3 months of rehab, and on top of it, his "Crazy Beautiful" isn't with him....for some reason this unfolding story is tearing at my soul for some reason. http://dosepoet.com/index.php dosePoet.com. Ignore the recent post...dose is a little high with being out and about again, but the rest is worth reading!! Especially his beautiful, raw and heart wrenching poetry for his Meghan....I don't know why, but these two pull at me, and I want them to be together so much...I feel it inside. I know that doesn't make sense, but it's what I feel. I am also compelled to write again because of his work, but I am refraining until I can get a moment to myself to get away from the influence...lol

Today is also Grandma's birthday-she is 83, she was born on March 24, 1925...my late grandfather was born on June 25, 1924....just switch the 24 and 25 around, and remember Spring and summer to remember the months...I wonder if Grandma's happy about her birthday...lol We celebrated it on Saturday because today's a work day, and yesterday would have been too hard to get everyone together, even for Easter dinner-"Peace" was with his father all weekend, and the "New Brother" was picking up a friend at the airport, and my younger brother and I had to spend Easter at Dad's house loosing track of basketball games and watching Shrek 3 lol

Today is another half emotional day for me as well....even though I am over it, in many ways-someone still is stuck within my soul...yes, I thought I would not have her here, but she is. Today was the day Chameron died....yes, I am over it, but she's still here, I feel it...I couldn't go to her grave today, I had too much within my soul to even try, and it is rather cold outside for me to want to sit out and kiss cold stone as I always do as I leave the rose on her grave (I know many will think I am morbid when it comes to Chameron and death, but it's something that is done-from me to her, a promise of life). It's alright, I am using a special friend's birthday (Nat) to make myself stay up beat, and tonight I will toast the old friend and the new friend in celebration of life, much like I did on my own birthday...

I also had an old friend from Montreal contact me today....he had disappeared for a long time, and has now returned...I don't know what to think or make of this particular event after everything else, but I will say that I almost started crying when I read his message. I didn't mention it anywhere else because I was afraid to share that with others there, but here, I trust my friends...and the Canadian Dragon is a good friend, even if my feelings didn't match or mirror his....maybe he has grown in the past 4 months since he went missing.

All I know right now is that I just want to get the fuzzies out of my head at the moment and do what I have to, I want to get into my own place and soon, and I need to find a place of peace today so that I can clear my silly head!!!

~Karol Lynn

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